Consensual blackmail Fetish or erotic extortion is a personal favourite fetish of mine. There’s a thrill there for both parties with a nice gain on either side. Blackmail, the art of obtaining money, giftcards and other payments through threat or force of a consenting and enthralled victim. Honestly it’s the most exhilarating and attractive findom kink to engage in. But how far can this take you? how far can you take it? Keep reading!
Blackmail is definitely considered a sub genre of findom, let us delve into the dynamics of the TPE (total power exchange) within the fetish. Relinquishing power to a dominant female or male is a very common way for people in power, in total control of their own lives can really relinquish control and let free, it can bring a balance to their lives that they cant seem to bring to themselves. It could be either in a real time session or something online.
Now lets talk about the blackmail fantasy, thats is where it needs to stay, a fantasy. Really exposing your blackmail sub you are then crossing the SSC (safe, sane, consensual) guidelines, you are exposing your sub and then involving someone external into this BDSM practice without consent, this could be their colleagues, their boss or even their family, this is where you cross the line between fantasy and reality. Even more prevalent this is the law, all over the world this is the law and whatever “contract” you might write and your sub signs, publicly exposing someone is classed a defamation of character and is punishable by the law consensual or not.
Every TPE relationship in the kink world is always and SHOULD always be of a consensual nature. I always consider my approach to a findom or femdom relationship as a SSC (safe, sane & consensual) opposed to a RACK (risk aware consensual kink) straight off the bat, I honestly do prefer to save RACK for my regular long term trusted subs.
I’ve recently found that new and inexperienced subs will enter my DMs begging for RACK, I know that these new baby subs will not be able to handle it, begging for it in the heat of the moment is all well and good but when you’ve handed over your deepest darkest secrets to a woman online you don’t know who could expose you at any minute is exciting, however when that horny fog has wears off it could be a terrifying experience. It’s my job to provide a complete safe space for my subs to experiment their deepest and darkest fantasies, this safe space needs to allow my subs not to feel judged or feel like they’re in danger. The point of RACK is to provide the thrill without actually going there. A true experienced skilled domme will really know how to play with their subs emotions and get them there without ever having to cross the them, because she should recognise consensual and non consensual and know how far she can go.
How far CAN you go with blackmail? The specifics of each situation are tailored to the desires of the subs need and requesting such a session. Some people get off on the thrill of having compromising photos posted on the dommes socials which are only removed once they complete a payment or humiliating task. Others may want to be “forced” to provide a weekly tribute, from £100 – £500 with the promise that I will email their secrets to their wife or boss if they miss a payment. The important thing to note here is that everything I do that relates to blackmail is done consensually, I WILL keep circling back to consent because this is the BIGGEST part of the kink, EVERYTHING needs to be consensual, as part of the other person’s fantasy and just like any safe, consensual role play, if at any time during the fantasy the safe word gets used, the session stops, even if payments haven’t been met, Don’t ever continue a play if the safeword is used. I would never truly force anyone to provide a weekly tribute, nor would I actually email anything compromising to anyone in their life, but thats where the sub is in the dark, that would take away the thrill. True subs follow through with their tasks and tributes out of their desire to keep the fantasy alive.
The really fun part is in the acting, acting like I’m in complete charge, demanding gifts, money and photos but knowing that they’re given willingly but everything sent is in true confidence and only used in reference for future sessions to really add that thrill.
Unfortunately, choosing the safe and responsible route can come at a price for Dommes. I have had multiple subs ghost me after the first reply because I’ve stated that this is just a fantasy and that nothing will ever really be exposed, they claim they want the REAL thing and if I can’t provide it they’ll go somewhere else. This is an issue for multiple reasons:
- Chances are, if you’re asking for it, it’s not real. The whole concept of real blackmail does not involve asking to have it done to you, nor does it involve your consent or ability to stop it in any way whatsoever.
- They could go to a new Domme who doesn’t understand that this is a FANTASY, who crosses those RACK lines and gets herself into a LOT of trouble because she’s completely inexperienced. as stated above REAL blackmail is ILLEGAL and can leave you completely LIABLE. even offering it publicly can get you into trouble because you are stating that you are willing to commit an ILLEGAL offence *eye roll* please ladies SAVE IT FOR SUBS YOU TRUST.
I understand that when it comes to many fetishes, a need to intensify overtime is totally common. You can become completely desensitised, so you dive into something a little crazier, or a little more dangerous. However, that does not mean you should ever expect a real Domme to risk their own personal safety and reputation for your fetish, get to know a domme, put some time in with her gain her trust and later you could approach her with the idea and discuss it together in a safe and consensual way, that way both parties can have a fantastic time with beneficial outcomes.
To new Dommes –
PLEASE IF YOU HAVE NEVER ENGAGED IN A KINK DO YOUR RESEARCH. If a sub approaches you asking and paying for something and you do not understand it please do not take the subs money, If you’re here to make some quick coin please stop, you could really ruin someones love for the fetish thus destroying their outlet.
do a lot of research into all sessions and requests, put time and effort into it, don’t understand it? email or message an experienced domme (www.hepays.com/mistresspaisley) they will give you the materials and time to help you blossom, I would! please come and talk to me.
To new subs –
Please do your research, read bios, tribute accordingly and your wildest fantasies will come true. Honestly if you subs just took their time and paid Dommes accordingly they’d have a fantastic time.